happy healthy hippy
A blog following my Triple Pelvic Osteotomy in January 2016
I've passed the three week mark and things have been getting a bit easier.
Yesterday, Andy took me out for lunch and then we spent the rest of the day puppy sitting at his Mum's house for her 10 week old bichon frise. I've definitely had my fair share of puppy therapy recently! It was the first time in 3 weeks that I forgot about my op and felt normal - whilst we were just relaxing together on the couch, watching TV and eating pizza (cheat night!) I also climbed the stairs a few times with no problems (I've not had to worry about this at home as we are in a bungalow!) To celebrate my new lease of life, I thought I'd write a positive summary post: Things I've accomplished: 1. I can get in/out of bed easy enough now (one of my short term goals completed!) and on/off a chair/couch without hands! 2. I can walk short distances with my crutches. My hip flexors are still weak so I'm tending to kinda hitch my operated leg rather than swing it forward but I'm working on it! Mums videoing me each week (see my happyhealthy_hippy Instagram!) and it's improving. Walking is when I get most my discomfort - it feels very tight and sore in my inner thigh and into my groin. I'm sure it's because my muscle bulk has disappeared. 3. I can roll yay! It's awkward and slow but I can do it! 4. I can lie on my non-op side for 20-30 minutes 5. I can lie on my front for hours comfortably! 6. I survived my first hydrotherapy session last Wednesday. It was so much tougher than I expected and I felt sick and dizzy afterwards :/ But I worked hard and I'm looking forward to working hard again next week My new short term goals: 1. In crook lying (lying on back with knees bent) I want to be able to keep this position without having to use my hands to stop my knee falling out. I have no control over it, it just flops to the bed if I don't stop it haha! 2. I want to be able to do the steps independently outside my house - they are deep and my hip isn't strong enough yet so I'm still needing some help! I need to keep working on my active hip flexion (bend!) 3. I'm desperate to sleep on my side so I'm gonna keep practicing! Things that I think are helping 1. Massage - I'm gently massaging my adductors (inner thigh) and hamstrings (back of thigh) with body butter every day for about 10 minutes as they are getting very tight, probably as I'm increasing my walking distance. I'm also using my hot water bottle on my inner thigh when it's particularly sore. 2. Prune juice - my new friend Gemma (who had her operation a week earlier than me) suggested this and it certainly works better than the meds to help digestion. 3. Changing position - to help prevent stiffness, I've been alternating throughout the day between sitting, lying propped up, lying flat, lying on my front, lying on my side, and little walks here and there. Andrea X
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Last week flew by - everything takes up so much more time than usual, just getting up, washed, and dressed is a task and a half and then the morning is nearly over! The best thing to do is not let the lack of independence frustrate you, embrace a slower pace of life, and be grateful that this disability is temporary!
My days seem to revolve around meds, food, and exercises. I've had visitors most afternoons and I'm loving using FaceTime too. Max our cockapoo puppy keeps me entertained in between so it's not possible for me to be bored - I can't get enough of him! Stef took me to Nandos for lunch last Wednesday which was great and it felt like a big deal as it was my first leisure trip out! I would definitely recommend hiring a wheelchair so you're not housebound for the first few weeks! It's good to have a little plan for each day (even if it's just "rest day" or "shave legs") to give some sort of structure to the week. Someone suggested on the Facebook group to have "pyjama days" and "doing days" which I think is a great idea! So far I've been alternating between lazy and extra lazy... with just a couple of doing days haha! I've been getting dressed whatever my intentions (just in comfies most of the time) as it makes me feel more well in myself. Today's aim was to have my first shower (!) with the help of a bath board and mum, followed by a much needed foot soak. I then spent longer than necessary moisturising my full body. It's lovely to take the time doing things you normally would have to rush (silver linings!) I'm feeling happy that things are manageable. It's certainly not an easy ride and it's not a surgery you'd jump into lightly. The pains are varied every day, every hour even! At any given moment, it can be one or more of buttock, back, pelvis, groin, thigh, knee, shin, and foot! I'm getting used to the randomness. The clunking and the nerve pain that shoots down my leg are the only things that are unsettling me. My consultant has told me not to worry though so I'm just crossing my fingers and toes and hoping they'll ease soon. I've mastered lying on my front now which is surprisingly comfy (it's become the position of choice during my Netflix binges!) However, I can't roll yet so to get there I kind-of belly flop from standing whilst Stef cradles my operated leg then swivel! As I'm sure you can imagine, it's quite comical so we end up in fits of giggles every time mid transfer. Another mini achievement is ditching the ridiculous amount of pillows at bed time. I've downgraded to just one under my knees and one under my heels. I'm finally sleeping flat and it doesn't pull on my hip anymore. I've added 'sleeping on my side' to my list of short term goals! Last week, I cried twice - fortunately both occasions were tears of happiness. The first time was when I opened a hamper full of gifts put together by 11 of my best friends. It was so thoughtful. Big life events like this definitely make you appreciate those closest to you. It makes me feel stronger when I'm surrounded by people who believe I can get through this and who spoil me with lots of love and support. The second time was Friday when I saw my incisions for the first time when the nurse checked my wounds. She cleaned them up and I was so impressed at how neat and healthy they looked. Mr McBryde has done a very tidy finish! I'm also confident that my obsession with staying hydrated has helped with the healing. For what I've been through, I was expecting something more gruesome! I have 2 wounds - 1 is 12cm in the groin and the 2nd is 7.5cm on the side of my buttock (Yes, I've actually measured them haha!) The scars were never something I thought or worried about pre op - but now they are there in all their glory, I'm actually quite proud of them! Andrea X I think I'm doing well - I'm certainly feeling well and surprised at how much better the pain is compared to in hospital. I'm taking paracetamol and dihydrocodeine every 4 hours and morphine for "breakthrough pain" (usually only a couple of times a day). I am definitely not pushing myself. I'm giving my body the rest it deserves so I'm having lots of lazy days!
I'm spending a lot of time lying flat in bed to give my hip flexors a good stretch. I can also do my exercises regularly in this position. I tend to sit for meals and in the evening for a few hours. I seem to get a lot of tightness in the front of my thigh and my inner thigh after sitting for a while - I'm still figuring out the balance between rest and movement. On Saturday, Stef took me out for a spin in the wheelchair - just down the road and back twice. I had to navigate down 5 deep steps and I needed help lifting my operated leg as my hip flexors are weak. It was good to get some fresh air but it was a lot of effort to get outside so won't be doing it regularly yet - maybe just a couple of times a week to get out the house! I'm generally sleeping well but it takes a while to get comfy. Mum is trying different pillow combos and arrangements each night. Last night, I had an orthopaedic neck pillow under my buttocks haha! Seemed to do the trick as I didn't wake up with a numb bum for once! I'm definitely missing my monkey pole that I used in hospital to help change position! Dad actually offered to construct me one in the bedroom (god knows how- he's a DIY King) but I've assured him i can make do! It's frustrating waking up in the middle of the night and needing the toilet. I'm trying to train my bladder and force myself to doze off again as its way too much effort to crutch there half asleep without any pain relief in my system! My main complaint at the moment is I'm getting intermittent tingling and burning pains in my calf and foot. I am satisfied this is normal as there will be a lot of swelling around my nerves but it isn't very nice and it seems to be getting more frequent! If it doesn't settle, I might ask my GP for some nerve pain relief. I'm also getting some clunking at the back of my pelvis when I do certain movements, for instance when transferring my weight from side to side as in shuffling to the edge of a bed. It feels deep and isn't painful- it's just a bit minging (technical term haha!) Again, I'm pretty sure it's normal as my body adjusts to the new hip joint position. I feel very lucky to have a caring family that are feeding me up! Before my surgery, I wrote out a list of meals and snacks based on the research I did into diet and fracture healing (see surgery preparation). I did insist these were just ideas not requests ha! I'm enjoying eating lots of nutritious food and not feeling guilty about portion size or calories! It's not a time for weight loss. Today I've had, for breakfast two poached eggs with smashed avocado (with chilli and lime) on 1 piece of toast, for lunch salmon fillet with salad and sweet potato, and for tea pork chop with asparagus tips, spinach, broccoli and mashed potato. Snack wise, I had oat cakes with coconut peanut butter (it's soo delicious) and berries with live natural yoghurt. I'm helping with food prep where I can so I'm not totally useless. My advice for if you don't have someone with you 24/7, is if friends ask if there's anything they can do to help, say you would appreciate a home cooked meal. I'm also drinking 3-4L of water a day to help with the wound healing. I'm using a tracker on my iPhone (FitBit app) and have a litre water bottle on me at all times! Currently I have minimal swelling and no bruising. Big success is always the result of many small successes so I've set myself a couple of short term goals. I think this will keep me motivated as my long term goals seem a million miles away right now. I want to be able to get into bed on my own with no difficulty (currently I'm only needing a little bit of help with my op leg but it's very awkward) and put my slippers on without using my hand to lift my leg up. Keeping it simple for now! I'm taking each day as it comes and celebrating every tiny victory! Andrea x Yesterday was a much better day! After a 10 hour sleep (surely unheard of in hospital!) I woke up feeling fresh and positive for the day ahead.
I had my meds and walked to the bathroom with a frame and a nurse - so much more comfortable after the morphine! It's still really difficult with the lift and swing through of my right leg but it's not making me wince as much. I asked the physio to give me the heads up about what time she would come so that I could ask the nurse for my morphine in preparation. This worked perfectly. I managed to walk further than yesterday with the crutches and with a lot less prompting. My head is starting to feel more normal each day and my vision of nailing the crutches was right. The physio was genuinely chuffed with me as I was struggling the day before. It's all about the pain control!! The afternoon I had an X-ray, which was reported as normal - my screws looked pretty cool!! I practiced 4 stairs with the physios. Yay, I passed. Stef, my sister, came to collect me and we headed home about 6.30 after one last hospital meal (baked cod loin in a creamy sauce, roasted vegetable cous cous and herbed diced potatoes). I genuinely will miss the food, it's tasted amazing, I've ate so many big hearty meals and made sure I didn't leave a crumb (I wanted all the energy I could get!). I found out during my stay that James Martin (chef from Saturday Kitchen) came and revamped the menu for a TV series in 2013! So that's why it's so good! See here: After a 2hr drive, my foot was tingling - must have irritated the sciatic nerve sitting in an awkward position for that long! Getting moving again to get in the house, I developed a new pain in my public symphysis (where the pubic bones meet at the front of pelvis) which I'm thinking may be referred from the broken ischium - it's a real sickening pain. My physiotherapy knowledge is definitely reassuring! Welcoming me home was mum, dad, and the beautiful puppy, Max. Mum helped me make a fortress with about 10 pillows and I slept like a log. I'm so happy to be home! I'm going to take it easy for a few days, focus on my physiotherapy exercises and try to keep my pain under control and "not over do it" as Mr Mcbryde advised! I'm currently having morning cuddles with Max. He really is adorable and he makes my heart melt every time I look at him as he's always doing something cute! I can't be sad when he's around! For those pre-op, my biggest piece of advice is never be scared to buzz the nurses for pain relief. Ask for it as soon as you notice your pain is starting to get more uncomfortable as often it takes longer than you'd wish to get the meds. So don't wait for it to get bad before asking! One time it took over an hour and half to get to me and by that time the pain had shot up and was then very hard to manage. Pain can change fast. I quickly learnt to ask as soon as I noticed a difference. If pain is more controlled, you will get a better nights sleep and then be less sensitive to pain the next day. So think ahead and your pain will stay on a manageable level rather than up and down! It is a learning curve and sometimes using a notepad to keep track will help you! Andrea x Well things have not been easy! As I recall Mr McBryde warning me, I have had good hours and bad hours the past 2 days.
Yesterday i felt great in the morning and by 9.30am was all washed and ready for whatever the world threw at me (or so I thought!) Andy did some exercises with me (he's not shy with them anymore and enjoys pushing me!) and the physios came just before lunch and helped me step round to the chair with a frame. So far, so good. After lunch, they returned and I tried a walk from the chair to the toilet and back (about 5m). This was excruciatingly painful. Every time I had to lift up my operated foot to step forward, I had a sudden, unbearable searing pain deep in the back of my pelvis. It made me gasp, wince and say unpleasant words! The physio assisted me by initiating the pick up of my foot. I had another decent nights sleep last night - I'm so happy I'm sleeping properly now and do appreciate the luxury of a side room- although I've noticed it's a bit pokey now I'm more aware of my surroundings! This morning I felt exhausted on waking. The physios got me out at 10.30 and I walked further - about 10m with a frame into the corridor. It seemed a lot less painful than yesterday, which I was thrilled about. However, later in the afternoon, I mobilised to the toilet and the brutal, searing pain was back! The physio conveniently (for her) arrived as I was still stood and suggested going further. I suddenly burst into tears. The pain with lifting was intolerable. I realised I was due my meds so after popping all my tablets and chilling with some relaxing music on YouTube (this really does calm me down!) for 20 mins, I conquered a 15m walk with crutches! It was very tough and I needed lots of prompts throughout. I genuinely thought my physio knowledge would help me with gait re-education but in my current state I don't know what day it is most of the time! Although I'm taking much less morphine, it still has a horrible effect on my head. It's so strange being on the other side as a patient - now I understand why we get the name "physical terrorists"! The moral of the story is I need to time my wees with my meds from now on haha! I've been keeping a note of what times I have my drugs today so il just need to put it to use! Mr McBryde came round to see how I am doing before tea. He heard that I had had a rough time and reassured me the searing pain is from the bone cut into the ischium (the lower, back part of hip bone). It seems everyone is completely different when it comes to pain levels in the early days and it doesn't necessarily correlate with how stable the fixation is or how well the operation went etc. The most important thing he said to me today is that my high pain levels now are not indicative of a poorer outcome later down the line. I'm also so grateful that he is allowing me to partial weight bear - much better than hopping surely (just perhaps a lot more painful to begin with!). This is because he believes he achieved an excellent fixation! He actually said "things couldn't have gone better" - amazing to hear! I also enjoyed facetiming a few friends earlier and their encouraging words keep my spirits high :) I've scheduled a few more for tomorrow! I've been getting hourly snapchats from my family with our new puppy, Max. He is so adorable!! Get me home now! I can't keep my eyes open and it's only 6pm but it has been an emotional day. The fatigue is similar to the pain, as in it's up and down and can dramatically change in a short space of time. I am going to nail the crutches tomorrow!! If I write it here, surely it has to come true?! Andrea X Oh my days. I have just woken up at 6am after sleeping for 7 hours straight. I genuinely didn't know where the hell I was when I opened my eyes and saw myself in a hospital bed and with bleeping noises. It was like, what I imagine, waking up from a coma feels like. So surreal. I instantly felt a completely different person and it took me a few minutes to figure out what was going on and recall the past few days!! My closest friends will know I love my sleep and always harp on about getting 8 hours, however after 3 nights of barely anything, 7 hours feels AMAZING! It felt like I'd slept for a week!
I feel like I've lost 3 days of my life. I don't think anyone could have prepared me for how bad those days where. Everyone on the groups said how tough it would be and Mr Mcbryde warned me after my op when I was unusually chirpy, that things will get a lot worse before they get better. I thought I was prepared and fully informed but when I didn't sleep for 36 hours after surgery and the epidural started wearing off, things went downhill quickly and the pain was so much worse than I could ever have imagined. I don't want to scare you if you're pre op as everyone has their own story to tell and my blog was to give an honest account of my personal experiences. I also have things to be proud of in those days so il do a little recap! Day 1 post op - I had moved from HDU to a ward late the night before and then didn't sleep a wink because the nurses needed to do obs and sensation checks every hour! I was so exhausted but there were so many things attached to me bleeping I couldn't even drift off for 10 minutes. About 5am, I started getting painful pins and needles in both legs. I was given some morphine but it didn't do anything and shortly after, the hip pain kicked in. At lunch, I sat up to eat and immediately went dizzy and lightheaded. I called the nurse and my blood pressure had plummeted. I felt so nauseous and the pain was getting horrendous. Then spasms started in backs of my legs and buttocks - these were unbelievably painful. I couldn't consciously relax my muscles when they kicked in so just had to grit my teeth and ride them out. I was eventually seen by the anaesthetist who gave me a bolus (like a shot!) of the epidural and turned the continuous flow up to 10ml from 5ml. Then upped my frequency of the morphine to hourly from 4 hourly. Things slowly started getting better pain wise but I wasn't with it at all. I felt completely wiped out but couldn't rest as there were so many disturbances with it being my first day on the ward. Throughout the day, I must have had at least 10 different people visit me. From what I can remember... Consultant and his registrar, bloods, house officer doctor on call, registrar on call, anaesthetist, lots of nurses and health care assistants, "outreach team" from critical care, nurse from HDU, and the physios three times who wanted to sit me out (hell no!). I had no rest whatsoever! Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse. I started to feel I was struggling with my breathing slightly in the evening and a few hours later realised my stomach was going numb. The nurse felt it may be the increase in the epidural which set off alarms in my head and I started to panic. The doctor assured me my observations were stable except my heart rate was racing and so she decreased my epidural to 7mls. I finally started to drift off about 1am (36 hours after surgery!) but was very unsettled. Day 2 post op - Still exhausted. Pain seemed relatively controlled on waking as the epidural was working great. I managed to sit over the edge of the bed with a physio just before lunch YAY! It was difficult as my legs were still very numb, but at least it wasn't too painful, and she gave me a lot of assistance. She also went through some active assisted exercises that Andy could help me with (he looked petrified, bless him). Things seemed under control until my epidural had to be switched off as it was 48 hours after surgery. Within a timeframe of 4 hours, my pain in my right hip went from controlled, to uncomfortable, to moderate, to severe, to agony! I literally felt I could pass out with the pain despite hourly moprhine. I couldn't move an inch! A healthcare assistant came round to change my sheets and I burst into tears at the thought of having to move. I had to wait a few hours for the nurses to escalate my pain control. Andy simply held my hand and we listened to chilled music and focused on relaxed breathing. Finally, a patient controlled analgesia (PCA) was set up with a morphine drip so I could get 1ml of morphine every 5 mins. For the first couple of hours after getting the PCA, I was literally counting down the seconds until I could press the button again. I hardly slept as every time I drifted off I would startle awake in agony! I remember a nurse reassuring me that in her experience with TPOs, the first three days are the worst but at the time it felt there was no end to this pain! Day 3 post op - I was definitely "trigger happy" with the PCA overnight as I was on another planet until the late afternoon. I was nauseous, dizzy, and generally confused and out of it most of the day. Morphine trips are not fun. I had to try to limit myself with my PCA and eventually found a manageable dose pressing it every 30-60 mins. It seemed crazy that earlier I had been pressing it every 5 minutes which equates to 12ml every hour rather than 1 or 2ml. Broken pelvis' are horrendously painful! Finally about 2pm, after a few hours of undisturbed rest, I started returning back to planet earth. I was still completely exhausted but at least I knew where I was haha. The physios came to see me and I managed to stand with a frame and take a few steps to the end of the bed and back! WOW! It was so tough and sore but I felt immensely proud of myself afterwards and relieved. Andy was over the moon too! I'm so thankful for all the nurses on Ward 12. Everyone has been amazing - so understanding of my pain and reassuring. I know things are still going to be tough as I'm going to be asking my body to do more but I pray I am over the worst. Andy has been incredible too - simply by being by my side and supporting me through a horrible few days. I'm sure he's enjoyed the quiet time from me anyway! Andrea X Well I am officially on "the other side" hooray!! I'm feeling so overwhelmed now I've woken up properly. I came to HDU from the recovery room about 1pm and it's took me until around 6pm to feel normal-ish. When I came round, one of the first thing I said was I'm hungry. Me all over! Haha. I told the nurse I felt sick but wasn't sure if it's cause I've not eaten so she brought me some toast and a sick bowl. Obviously the toast was what I needed but it did take me two hours to eat it all!!
I've also devoured sausage and mash for tea. I laughed when they told me what was coming. It's my favourite meal. What are the chances?! I'm feeling so happy and relieved. Ive just burst into tears when I read all my messages on my phone. My heart rate shot up on the monitor and a nurse ran over to see what was up! Andy, my family, and friends are truly amazing! I feel overwhelmed with all the love today. Even from all the other hippys on the Facebook group- so many strangers wishing me luck last night and this morning, it was strangely comforting. I just kept telling myself, if all these people can do this, so can I! They are more like friends now, people that understand me and I can divulge to! I'll just fill you in what happened earlier for those that are interested. This morning was over in a flash. I hardly slept, probably got about 2 hours but as soon as I got up, I was wide awake with adrenalin! It was snowing this morning in Birmingham which gave me a good feeling. It was snowing the day I was born so I saw it as a positive sign (I've definitely found my spiritual side the past 6 months haha!) I also had on my Irish lucky socks off Andys mum for positive vibes :) I arrived at the hospital at 7.30 and was in the admissions unit by 8am. They let mum stay with me. I had some general medical checks (blood pressure etc) and the anaesthetist came round. He was lovely and very calm, clearly experienced. I told him all I wanted was not to wake up during the surgery (he succeeded!) and for the epidural to do its job (the nurse said a few hours ago after doing a sensation check that my epidural is working fantastic and it's numbed me up to T8 - for the physios reading - which is just past my belly button!) So he did his bit perfectly as requested ha ha! Anyway... then Mr McBryde came round and told me he'd done 3 triple pelvic osteotomys (TPO) last week and they all went great and he expects mine to go the same way. This should have put me at ease but my heart began racing when he said I'd be in the theatre in half an hour. The time soon came, I was escorted into the anaesthetic room. Mum had to leave. I surprisingly didn't cry and stayed calm on the outside despite panic setting in on the inside. I sat on the edge of the bed with my feet on a stool and had to slump down so they could place the epidural. I was given some sedation to relax me for this bit. I remember telling them I didn't feel any different but thinking back now it obviously did the trick as I wasn't at all bothered about a needle being inserted into my spine (eurgh!) and just did as I was told. Then I lay down and remember someone saying I was being given some strong painkillers and that's it! I woke up in recovery feeling very dazed and exhausted. Fast forward 7 hours and I'm feeling medically well and generally comfortable. My right hip feels awkwardly tight and I can't (or don't want to?!) move my leg. The epidural is clearly still working and is apparently staying in for another day or two. I pray my pain stays under control but I'm expecting an increase when I have to do moving of any kind!! I'm hoping I get a good nights sleep tonight because I'm so tired now especially after writing this long account! I'm having some slow releasing morphine soon so that should help. Thank you to everyone for all the well wishes. I love you all! Andrea X (I wanted to post this quote this morning but everything happened so fast. Thank you to one of my best friends, Emma for the picture below!) Holy shit - it's tomorrow!! The nerves are setting in! Everything is seeming very real now that my bags are packed for hospital and home!
I've had a busy day- I wanted to be productive whilst I can so did some last minute tidying, cleaning, and organising of the flat! Then spent half an hour on my exercises and twenty minutes meditating. I use an app called MeditateMe by Kelly Howell. Someone recommended it a while ago on the Facebook group and I've tried it a couple of times and it does help me to relax. I feel positive vibes are important! I couldn't focus as well as yesterday though but I'm still new to it. I'm sure it'll take time to master. This afternoon I practiced hopping with my crutches! I've done this a few times over the past couple of weeks and it's tough. I hopped to the local shops and back (less than 5 minutes), then up and down 2 flights of stairs. Hopefully this will give me a head start for hospital :) Though I do expect it to be a lot more difficult and painful with a broken pelvis! I've also made a massive batch of chilli and frozen it for lunches for when I come back to Liverpool. So I'm feeling all prepared. I feel like I've not stopped all day but I guess keeping busy has distracted me from overthinking about everything. It's all I can think about now I've relaxed. I'm sure I wouldn't be normal if I wasn't nervous. I'm just happy that I'm not full of fear. Things could change in the morning though eek! Me and Andy are heading back to my parents later this afternoon for tea and then il set off to Birmingham with my mum and dad. We're staying in a hotel close to the hospital to make things easier in the morning. I'm praying I get a good nights sleep! I am as ready as I'll ever be! Andrea X (Quote courtesy of my cousin Emma, I love it thanks!) X I've had the perfect weekend, making the most of my independence that I'll lose next week eek! Me and Andy went to a spa weekend at Hoole Hall in Chester. We went out for a meal and drinks Saturday evening. Then today have had a mudroom rasul experience (applying muds in a steamed chamber), a full body massage and spent the rest of the afternoon in the chill out room, jacuzzi and sauna! It was all incredible and I'm now feeling very relaxed and dopey! I would definitely recommend this place!
My hip seemed manageable, until later in the afternoon I stood up awkwardly from a chair and heard a big deep clunk and then immediately a painful throbbing kicked in, which still hasn't eased. It was only 6 weeks ago that I was pretty much pain free, after going on holiday to Cape Verde and doing absolutely nothing for a week! The rest helped immensely. For a good two weeks afterwards I had hardly any pain, even after a 3 hour shopping trip for Christmas presents. Then gradually it started coming back, accumulating. It got worse than usual as I started pushing myself to do more things as the op date drew closer - like going out with my best friends on Christmas Eve, I wasn't going to miss that for the world! In a strange way, the pain reassures me that I desperately need this operation. In the past, when I have been comfortable day to day, it was easy to let doubts creep in. On the support group, it seems a common theme for pain to appear much better just before the op, perhaps the mind playing tricks! For me though, it's been the opposite, which makes me think the op has arrived at the perfect time! I'm thankful the wait is nearly over! This is how dysplasia can work - periods of flare and remission, depending on the levels of activity. I remember my consultant saying I could potentially delay or avoid the operation just by modifying my lifestyle but I'm definitely not willing to do that in the long term. I want my life, as I used to know it, back as soon as possible! Andrea X So this time next week I will have had my operation and hopefully had a good nights sleep in preparation for getting mobile!
I'm genuinely looking forward to next Thursday and strangely calm. I think I have finally found peace with everything that's happened and what's about to happen. The frustrating part is definitely the 4 month waiting list and understandable doubts and what ifs about having such major surgery. It has felt like I'm in limbo because I've been stuck with this pain that's up and down all the time and my life has been put on hold. I know after the operation, I will feel a sense of relief as the anticipation will go and I will start moving forward. The pain will be worse to begin with and I will be more debilitated than I am now but I know I will be starting a healing process. Whereas this pain now is doing me no good, it's just the feeling of the labral tear being irritated and my poor hip joint wearing down :/ I've struggled to get to sleep this week but not because I'm anxious, it's more anticipation and almost excitement! I want it over with so I can start the hard work. I just need need to remember to be a patient patient. Andrea x |
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